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Chair throwers, air guitar players and a thoroughly nice bunch of chaps/chappettes).


It is very late now and I have just returned from the night club so my spelling and grammar may be even worse than usual.

Well its been nearly a week since my last blog update, the main reason that I have been quite is because I have been socialised.

Last week I was sitting alone and about to write this blog when my space was invaded by some of my entertainment colleagues (who are now friends). They asked if I was posh or just anti-social, they thought this as I sat alone and was forever playing with my laptop rather than mixing and being friendly.

Many of those who know me will not believe this, but the main reason that I was keeping myself to myself was that I was feeling shy. At home I am in control of my environment and I can mix on an equal footing with anybody I meet, however, here on the ship all of the entertainers have a great deal more experience of cruising (I had none) and they all know one another very well.

So where I had no doubts in relation to my performing ability I did feel a little inadequate socialising. My new friends have changed that, I now sit with people in the mess and socialise after gigs. By doing this I have made a few friends who are not even entertainers (they work in retail on board), it’s great!

So the blogs have suffered but I am much happier.

Highlights of last week:-

Chair Thrower.
A passenger collared me between sets. Most of the passengers stay just two nights on board however I had noticed this passenger sitting at the front of the stage on 3 or 4 occasions, so I thought she was crew. I was wrong, she told me she regularly travels this route on business. During the conversation she asked me if I was impressed with the archipelagoes, I had to admit that I didn’t know what they were. For those of you who enjoy my lack of formal education I am not going to explain what they are, you can look it up. Anyway I was told that the best way to view them was by taking a seat in the Bow Bar when the ship leaves Stockholm, I thought I had explored every part of the ship but didn’t even know there was a Bow Bar. The following afternoon before the passengers embarked I went and found a seat in the middle of the Bow Bar (a bar at the front of the ship with a spectacularly large window). There is bench seating and comfortable small armchairs positioned across the window. I sat in the middle armchair. About 20 minutes later the passengers arrived. I heard somebody who was obviously angry shouting (in Finish or Swedish) but did not turn as I thought it had nothing to do with me. A moment later the armchair next to me was picked up and thrown to the floor. The chair thrower was a man in his late 60’s with a very red face who looked like steam was about to come out of his ears, he was glaring at me. Before I could say “English” to him he turned and left the bar, the woman (I assume his wife) followed. A few of the other passengers looked shocked, some laughed and I looked puzzled. A guy picked up the upturned chair and placed it back next to mine, he and his girlfriend sat. He smiled and spoke to me in Finish, I explained I was English so he switched his language to mine. He told me the elderly chap was a lunatic and was screaming that I had taken his seat, he queues early to ensure he is always the first on board and he and his wife always have the two seats in the middle of the window. If only he had asked (in English) I would have gladly given him my seat.

Air Guitar Player
Half way through my first set a big Finish guy who was very drunk approached the stage and tried to tell me something, I thought it was a request so leaned down to see if I could understand (I couldn’t). After a number of tries I understood, he was telling me “I vil elp you”. “Elp me do what”? I shouldn’t have asked, he pushed me aside as he got onto the stage and stood beside me, he looked friendly and smiled as he drank what appeared to be vodka form a pint glass. The punters looked amused so I continued with my next request which was “Changes” a Black Sabbath slow ballad. As I started to sing my partner on stage started to play an air guitar and violently shake his head, I continued to sing “I’m going through changes” All was all quite bizarre but OK until my vodka drinking partner started to leap about. The security officers quickly removed him, I once again was a solo act.

About Tobias. A. Hogg

My daughter, my nephew, Christian Scientist actors and now even my 80 something mum are all doing it and I have decided to have a go. My intention is to record things that intrigue or amuse me and the source of my experiences is probably going to be centred around my chosen profession gigging singer, but who knows what future blogs may bring.

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